During my (self-guided, self-nagged) courses in my ‘Homemade MFA’ I did many things: I read stacks of books, I read multiple favorite novels with an analytical eye, I participated in multiple writer’s groups and revised, revised, and then revised some more. And, I wrote ‘papers’ for myself, in an attempt to distill down all the fantastic advice I’d gleaned from those book stacks.

What I couldn’t learn from the books was ‘voice,’ ‘passion’ or ‘perseverance’ — that required mining my own soul and level of commitment; what I could learn was those all important, and too often ignored, techniques that make one’s prose more sophisticated. Gathering from all the sources I could find, I make my “Cliff Notes for Fiction Techniques” otherwise known as Common Fiction Issues in Super-Short, Simplified Format.

What’s below isn’t prettied up or served with garnish–it’s my original ‘just the facts, mam.

1) Showing or telling? How much narrative summary do you have? Do you write “He was fuming” or “He kicked the wall?”

“Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.” Mark Twain

2) Characterization? What’s going on with your character? Can we see her worries, fears, and hopes? How many? We seldom feel one thing at a time. Have you tried a little tenderness? Shown the characters vulnerability? Readers like vulnerability, but beware showing pain laced with self-pity: readers dislike weakness and self-pity; show pain subtly and whenever possible, with humor.

Avoid thumbnails sketches and let character unfold before the reader. Don’t define everything about them the moment they come on stage, start with a bit of looks, and let character’s personality reveal the character, rather than relying on physical sketches. Watch ‘looking in the mirror’ descriptions. Have your characters misunderstand each other at times. Have them answer the unspoken question rather than the one asked aloud. Have them hedge, talk at cross-purposes, disagree, lie, sound human.

What does your character(s) want? What’s the obstacle to the want? What action has your character taken to overcome the obstacles? Are things too easy for your characters—thus tamping down tension and conflict?

“Readers want to be haunted by characters” Jessica Morrell

3) Is your point of view pitch perfect? Keep the camera angle straight. Keep description and observation within character’s point of view: is your Hell’s Angel guy describing the sunset too poetically? Nasty Jack rode along a sunshine drenched highway vs. Nasty Jack rode along the heat-choked highway.

4) Does your dialog hold interest and is it sophisticated? Dialogue: Watch tagging – use the invisible ‘said’ most often. Watch ‘ly’ adverbs or emotional attributions. Replace “Do you still love me?” Maria asked nervously with “You still love me, right?” Maria gripped the steering wheel with both hands.

Could you use more contractions, more sentence fragments, and more run-on sentences? Is stiff dialog really exposition in disguise? Avoid dialect and weird spellings.

5) Do YEGO or MEGO? (Your/my eyes glaze over, courtesy of Stephen Koch, The Modern Library Writer’s Workshop.) Are you bored when reading any sections of your book? So is the reader.

6) Lost in interior monologue? Enough is enough—is it getting self-indulgent? Sound like an essay? Or, conversely, do your clients move, move, move without any introspection?

“Stick to the point.” W. Somerset Maugham              

 7) Do you have stage business: don’t forget the little bits of action interspersed through a scene. Avoid repetitive stage business. (Always drinking or smoking?) Do they illuminate your character? Are they particular to him/her? Do they fit the rhythm of dialog?

8) Can you judge anything through the white space? Enough? Too much? Are your characters making speeches rather than speaking?

9) Did you repeat? Watch repetitive action, characters, emotions, etc. Readers don’t need sledgehammers.

10) How the proportion? Watch the blow by blow. Don’t lose drive. Your interest/hobby/knowledge isn’t fascinating to everyone. Too many flashbacks rob narrative drive.

“The secret to being tiresome is to tell everything.”  Voltaire

11) Is your writing sophisticated or amateur? Janet Burroway writes in A Guide to Narrative Craft:

“John Gardner says in addition to the fault of insufficient details and excessive use of abstraction there is a third failure: ‘…the needless filtering of the image through some observing consciousness. The amateur writes: Turning she noticed two snakes fighting in among the rocks. Compare: She turned. In among the rocks, two snakes were fighting. Generally speaking–though no laws are absolute in fiction—vividness urges that almost every occurrence of such phrases as “she noticed” and “she saw” be suppressed in favor of direct presentation of the thing seen.’

The filter is a common fault and often difficult to recognize—although once the principle is grasped, cutting away filters is an easy means to more vivid writing. As a fiction writer you will often be working through “some observing consciousness.” Yet, when you step back and ask readers to observe the observer, to look at, rather than through the character—you start to tell, not show, and rip us briefly out of the scene.”

Watch simplicity, construction and linking verbs (fought as opposed to were fighting.) a) Maria swore at Joe as she tore off her shirt vs. As Maria was ripping off her shirt she angrily flung swears at Joe. b) Maria slammed her cup on the counter vs. Hating Jim, Maria viciously set her cup on the counter.

Sentence choppy? Too short? Overly-said-killing-the-point-long? Leaning on Italics? Or explanation points! Flowery descriptions everywhere? Sex not leaving enough to the imagination? Are you making it into a manual? Too much profanity? Are your starting sentences with when, suddenly and then? Did Maria nod her head? Have Maria nod. Did Maria sit down on the bed? Have Maria sit on the bed.

“Omit needless words.” Stunk and White

12) Always sure of your setting? Where are your characters? Is it hot? Cold? What month? School in session? Summer vacation? Holidays coming? Orient the reader.

“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.“ Elmore Leonard

13) Have enough details? What are they wearing? Look up, look down: shoes, hair (messy, neat?) what are they sitting on? Nails bitten? Polished? Desk messy or neat? Any dust on the dresser?

14) Avoiding passive construction. Is your voice active? Does enough happen in scene? Are you overusing ‘was,’ leading to the dreaded passive voice? Maria spilled the milk as opposed to the passive voice: The milk was spilled by Maria.

15) Explaining too much? Resist the urge to tell the reader what is funny, what is sad, etc. If you think it’s unclear, rewrite, don’t explain.

“Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it” Hannah Arendt

16) Have you checked your sentence mechanics: Do you have a changing rhythm of short and long sentences? Does your sentence begin or end with the drama? A) The stolen diamonds were in Maria’s purse. Or: B) Maria’s purse held the stolen diamonds. How’s your grammar?

“Clarity. Clarity. Clarity.
When you become hopelessly mired in a sentence,
it is best to start fresh.” Strunk & White

17) Are your tics showing? All of us have writing tics—discover yours or have someone point them out (If I let them, all my characters will lean toward the other characters during times of stress) and remove most of them,

18) Have you balanced scenes and sequels? Can you feel a good rhythm of active scenes vs. reflective sequels? (Scene: Maria stole the diamonds. Sequel: Maria googled “arrest” to determine her chances of doing time.

19) Transitions clear and smooth? Are you moving the reader through time? Sliding effortlessly into flashback? Showing setting changes? Showing changes in mood, tone, emotion, weather, and POV? Are transition sentences performing double duty?

Examples of transition sentences: James arrived on drizzly evening with an envelope in the pocket of his jeans. “I got rejected at Putnam’s” he said when she opened the door. From Rosie by Anne Lamott.

20) Descriptions: Characters & More: Watch out for the ubiquitous ‘looking in the mirror’ descriptions. Don’t rely on the ‘hair, eyes, height’ character picture. Rather than writing how beautiful Elisha had tumbling red lock spilling over her shoulder, sparkling green eyes and towered over most of her coworkers, try Elisha towered over her coworkers in a manner reminiscent of a supermodel crossed with scariest grade school teacher.

Similarly, when describing settings and objects, less is more. Think of how combining too many colors can lead to a muddy picture. The same happens with an overuse of descriptive words: the reader is left trying to build the scene/character and is no longer lost in your world.

“To write simply is as difficult as to be good.” Somerset Maugham