Here’s a big fat lie: Stick and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Words slice to the bone. When we explode, we’re not out of control—we’re using our anger to control and shut people down. I freeze at yelling, I’m silenced by harsh words, and I wither each time someone … Read more
Awhile ago I wrote my warning about falling for the ‘bad boy.’ Now it’s time to figure out if you have one lying next to you. And what kind. You may think you have a Marlboro Man while in truth you’re harboring a Hannibal Lector. Take a look below. Which one is your bad boy? … Read more
I’ve worked with men who battered their wives, their girlfriends, their sisters, and sometimes their mothers. For almost ten years, I listened to their stories as they admitted bullying, hitting, smacking, punching, and breaking bones. Some had murdered. When asked where their children were during these incidents, almost all answered the same way: they … Read more
Every now and then an article leaps out of the paper and punches me in the chest. (Actually, this should probably happen with 90% of the articles printed. Sometimes I don’t know why all of us morning-paper-readers don’t end up weeping, railing or marching after closing the last page.) This morning’s Boston Globe headlined an … Read more
Living in a violent home is like growing up in a war zone. When a woman is battered, images of their mother being beaten will be imprinted on them forever. Children witnessing abuse are at serious risk for developmental delays, post-traumatic stress disorder, and irreversible psychological damage. It’s likely they’ll also be physically, emotionally, or … Read more