Books That Haunt

Halloween is all about haunting. The unrelenting hold of ghosts. The unbearable-to-resist sweetness of candy. Ghosts that haunt are products of the living: relatives dead and alive, past loves, remembered slights, pinnacles of success, things we wish we’d never done, things we wish we had done. Jobs we wisely quit. Careers we never pursued. Decisions … Read more

Fasting Against the Violence at Home

  I’ve worked with men who battered their wives, their girlfriends, their sisters, and sometimes their mothers. For almost ten years, I listened to their stories as they admitted bullying, hitting, smacking, punching, and breaking bones. Some had murdered. When asked where their children were during these incidents, almost all answered the same way: they … Read more

In Her Wake: When Our Parents Define Us

“The day my mother killed herself, she had just finished preparing her house on Marlborough Street for the anticipated return of her children after a fierce custody battle with my father. There were six of us and much to do.” I tend to read very fast, often too fast. While reading In Her Wake I … Read more

IMPERFECT ENDINGS

Seven years ago my mother called my sister and me to tell us she had cancer. The doctor gave her less than a year to live. Despite years of complicated mother-daughter relationships, we turned our lives around in moments and flew down from New York and Boston to be with her.

Our mother had never been one to bear up under pain and she dreaded the idea of being dependent. Hours after we arrived in Florida, she made us promise to kill her when “it became too much.”

When we tried to talk rationally—using words like illegal and jail—she gave us the same demanding glare we’d known since childhood.

 

You have to help me, she insisted. You girls know I can’t stand pain. Promise! Promise me now!

 

We, of course, promised. My sister and I had never been able to withstand the glare, and

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