Belts being made into threatening weapons — that’s one of the clearest childhood memories. Being called “Hitela” (for Hitler) was my mother’s way of reminding me how awful she thought my bangs were. That’s another remembrance in my top 10.
Do I think that my mother would want those to be my memories? Absolutely not.
Do I think Amy Chua (author of the essay “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” in the online Wall Street Journal wants her children to remember her for calling them ‘”garbage”? No. I don’t. I think she wants her daughters to credit her for their success in this world, just as I’m certain my mother wanted me to credit her for my neurotic (which does decidedly not mean successful) monitoring of my hair, weight and every other outward manifestation of who I am.
So, what is it? Being cruel for the “sake of our children’s success” or being kind for the “sake of their psyche”? Do we have a right or wrong here?