If you love every picture of yourself, or you’re one of those naturally photogenic people, you won’t need this post.

And I don’t want to stand next to you in any photo.

For the rest of us, there are tricks to make ourselves look less double-chinned, squint-eyed, or serial killer-ish in photos. I know. I am decidedly not one of those naturally photogenic people. Thus, I gather every bit of advice I can find before submitting to posing for an author photo—even a selfie-style one.

(Now, if only I could figure out how to outlaw people from ‘tagging’ me in candid shots they’ve taken. Isn’t there something about souls being stolen?)

After reading the hints below, try on different clothes, jewelry, make-up, and hairstyles, and take as many self-portraits as you can stand. No one will know how vain you might be (the truthful backstory of any author photo.)

I bet even Jonathan Franzen tries out smiles in his mirror before deciding on which steely gaze to use and how to best gently tousle his hair.

Use Photo Booth (on Mac computers) or a similar program to take photos of yourself in various outfits and poses. Photos tell more truth than simply staring in the mirror (when we all do some unconscious auto-focus to look better to ourselves.)

What I’ve Learned

Color counts. Wear the color that looks best on you close to your face. This is the most important tip I can pass on. Beige destroys me. Green is kind.

Pick the right clothes. Don’t overdress. Say no to busy patterns, large florals, and anything loud. Make certain your clothes send the message you want to project. What persona do you want to project? Warm and welcoming? Wise? Rumpled Guy? Mysterious? Approachable? Unapproachable? Sex Kitten? Ice Queen? Plan this.

Hide your blechy parts. Photos freeze you in time. They can’t show all the good (though they can certainly reveal plenty of bad). Learn your good and bad angles and make sure your photographer considers them. Don’t let people who hate you take your picture. Avoid anyone who intimidates you. Good photographers can work with you to play down certain features and emphasize others.

To hide a double chin, lift your head, put it forward, and tilt your head down a bit. Not too much, or you’ll exacerbate the problem or look insane. Position yourself so that the camera is a bit above your eye level. Of course, there’s always the old trick of putting one hand under your chin as though you’re resting your head on your hand. (And, of course, nobody knows what you’re doing. (Avoid pushing extra skin into weird positions.) Some say resting your tongue against the roof of your mouth helps.

Stick your neck out. Models present a 3/4 pose to the camera, with the neck lifted, and the head tilted slightly down.

Relax. Really. Have a glass of wine with your shoot. Just one, though, or you’ll think you look a whole lot better than you do wearing that bright fuchsia lipstick. In the photo below (taken many years ago–100?) I’d had one relaxing glass.

Become an actor. Imagine yourself somewhere great, staring at something fantastic. Or, if you’re trying to appear mysterious, bring forth the mental scene to engender mysterious feelings. Want to look warm? Imagine the love of your life in front of you. Want to look stern—picture the one who broke your heart.

Choose a smile and practice it. Smile with your eyes. That’s how you can project warmth. Imagine someone you love, someone you would love to love, or someone you want to know walking in the room. Your eyes get wider; your smile gets more relaxed. Practice until you can instantly do this.

Sit or stand straight. Don’t have your shoulders around your ears or your back slumped.

Make-up for the camera is different than the everyday variety. There are many, many sites covering this. Visit a make-up counter or Sephora. Tell them you need photo make-up and let them play (it’s free, and they’ll love the opportunity to demonstrate their skills. Though,  if you’re anything like me, the credit card will come out.) Practice, practice, practice.

Lively faces tend to look worse in photos because transient expressions don’t come across well when captured in a still photo. Learn how to control your expression in front of the camera. After reading this, I noticed that my friends with the calmest faces did look best in pictures. (And posited yet another reason for looking awful in so many photos—see below for proof of me bringing all my wrinkles to life merely by being animated—followed by stiff me.)

Look slightly above the camera when the picture is taken to avoid red-eye and seem more relaxed.

For full-length photos, position your body 45 degrees from the camera and turn your head towards the lens. Stand with one foot crossed in front of the other and place weight on your back leg. Posing this way will slim and flatters. Pull your shoulders back. I have never mastered this one—which is why I don’t look so good in full-body shots. Plus, I am so short I am considered an asset for others—so at least there’s that good-deedness.

Look on professional photographers’ sites for many more hints on make-up, clothes, and other facets of preparation for a photo session.

Choose more outfits than you think you need. Simple, classic looks are best. Oversized clothes wrinkle and make you look heavier in the pictures. Solid colors are best. Wear flattering necklines. Long sleeves are your friends. Loud patterns and busy fabrics will draw attention away from your face. White or light pastel shirts can become washed out on camera. Layers often work well.

Try different looks, such as elegant, edgy, and casual. Warm colors or monochromatic tones are often best. For most people, pastels, khakis, oranges, and yellows are not flattering in photos. Avoid oversized, clingy, satin, and shiny clothes. Keep accessories simple.

The right color scarf can change your entire look. (And when all else fails, wrap it up to hide that double chin, wrap everything up, and call it artsy.)

Bring your photographer home. I found myself far more relaxed when getting my picture taken at home—near my makeup, closet, hair products, teasing comb, and Xanax. Of course, it helped during my first and favorite shoot, my sister was my photographer. She’s an expert behind the lens, she was patient through my ninety-nine changes, and we had fun. So if you have family members who are talented, consider begging them to shoot you and get the photo credit.

Practice!! Most of all, learn about you while alone with you! And, for the right price, I’ll show you the photos that made me consider taking up veils.