Woman (me, for instance) weeks (months?) getting ready for a book launch (or any event):

Buy a new dress.
Return dress.
Decide to wear an edgy jagged-hem blouse.
Realize anyone using the word ‘blouse’ is too old for edgy.

Buy pants.
Wonder what the ‘young’ word for pants is.
Google.
End up teary seeing choices of pants ‘types’ and future as, with luck, ‘classic.’

Pick a black dress from among 12 similar black dresses in the closet.
Try 12 similar schmattas (a.k.a. shrugs, cardigans, wraps) to cover upper arms.

Spends hour trying on necklaces to enhance neckline.

Remembers Bobbi Brown’s admonition to women of a certain age: “Color near face for brightening!!!”

Buys a scarf of every color.

Looks for the best arrangement of said scarves to
a) Hide neck wattle
b) Brighten!! (see above)
c) Prevent scarf-induced hot flashes.

Try on every piece of jewelry in possession with 1K possible combination of black dress and arm-hiding-schmattas.

Take pictures to remember all the above.

Take stock of makeup. Start each day (while supposedly writing) creating new facial arrangements. Brighten eyes! Brighten lips! No need to brighten the nose. Rosacea has done the trick!

Buy and return every pair of ‘comfort’ heels offered by Zappos.

Decide wearing boots in spring is an edgy fashion choice.

Stop eating, to look thin.
Eat, to calm nerves.

Set goal weight.
Change goal weight.
Find huge schmatte to cover one’s arms.

Man, day of ‘book launch’:

Put on a pressed shirt.
Or a tee shirt.
Or whatever hands touch when reaching into the closet.
Walk out of house.

Below, Boston Globe journalist Matthew Gilbert, and me at an event we did at Brookline Booksmith (notice that this is no discernable difference in acceptable appearance. Then, join me in more tears).